I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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