Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize