tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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