You made me cry and you don't even care
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
