so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
