You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
