i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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