idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
