What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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