So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
