sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize