Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my being single is dangerous.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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