i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
