Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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