garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
