New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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