Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
