:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
