with your own penis?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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