If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
