Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
