ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
