Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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