Say something about gay babies.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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