we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ttyl tear gas
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
