marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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