i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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