I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
