You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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