You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
