Your tits are I can't wait for
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
