next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You may now shotgun with the bride
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
