Plan B is the new Plan A
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
