Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
