If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
