Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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