i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
