office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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