there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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