Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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