Duck Duck Cougar?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
