mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want to have your abortion
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
