I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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