Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
