Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
