Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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