Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
