I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
love makes seman taste better
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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