Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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