The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
