btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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