In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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