I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize