i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
