Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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