So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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