therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
