Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
