I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize