Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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