I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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