I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
