Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize