his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
