YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
